I’ve decided that I no longer agree with the idea of commercializing the seduction community. The community has been ruined by commercial entities, many of whom amount to nothing more than “snake oil salesmen.” While I am admittedly only a small player in the community (actually, a very small player), I have decided to do what I can to change (or at least try to change) some of the problems present in the community due to commercialization.
On my part, I have issued full refunds to anyone who has taken a bootcamp, 1x1 training, or paid me for any other commercial product or service. For reference, there were no requests for refunds, but I decided to do so in order to be completely in-line with my beliefs and the views I intend to communicate about the seduction community in the future. I’ve given back a lot of money, including the deposits on my $18,000 program, which I still intend to provide to the guys who want it, but for free (it may be abbreviated due to time constraints on my part, though).
In addition, I am going to write a series of posts that outline why I think that paying for any product for pick up or self development is an egregious waste of money. I’ll start posting these in the near future.
This ultimately may have no impact on the seduction community, but I am so adamant in my belief that there should be no commercial aspect to the community, that I feel compelled to do this.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Top 10 signs you might be a “creepy PUA”
Following the article on “Things wrong with the PUA community” posted on El Topo’s blog, this is a top ten list of signs that you might be a “creepy PUA.” For the most part, this is a tongue-in-cheek post, but the sad thing is that I know plenty of guys who do all of this stuff – and are actually proud of it!
10. In your normal, every day conversation, you refer to girls as “HBs” and dates as “Day 2s.”
9. You regularly use the term “AFC.”
8. Your “friends” refer to you by your PUA code name more often than using your real name…and you prefer it that way.
7. You debate with your wing whether a girl is a 7 or a 7.5.
6. You’ve only gotten laid five times in your life, but nonetheless believe you are a pick up and seduction guru who should charge people for his “expert” advice.
5. You wear a feathered boa, black nail polish, and eyeliner when going out to watch a college football game at a local sports bar (or wearing that gear anywhere, for that matter).
4. You try to convince guys that human beings are biologically hardwired against monogamous relationships, based “extensive” research you’ve done (i.e., reading Sperm Wars and a few forum posts).
3. The highlight of your night wasn’t the mediocre sex you had with the homely-looking girl you pulled from the dive bar, but writing and posting the “lay report” on the PUA forum as soon as she left your apartment at 3:30 AM.
2. In your normal, every day conversation, you refer to girls as “HBs” and dates as “Day 2s.” (This warrants repeating).
1. You debate the benefits of using routines vs. no routines on online message boards (or anywhere, for that matter) and actually get pissed off during the debate.
10. In your normal, every day conversation, you refer to girls as “HBs” and dates as “Day 2s.”
9. You regularly use the term “AFC.”
8. Your “friends” refer to you by your PUA code name more often than using your real name…and you prefer it that way.
7. You debate with your wing whether a girl is a 7 or a 7.5.
6. You’ve only gotten laid five times in your life, but nonetheless believe you are a pick up and seduction guru who should charge people for his “expert” advice.
5. You wear a feathered boa, black nail polish, and eyeliner when going out to watch a college football game at a local sports bar (or wearing that gear anywhere, for that matter).
4. You try to convince guys that human beings are biologically hardwired against monogamous relationships, based “extensive” research you’ve done (i.e., reading Sperm Wars and a few forum posts).
3. The highlight of your night wasn’t the mediocre sex you had with the homely-looking girl you pulled from the dive bar, but writing and posting the “lay report” on the PUA forum as soon as she left your apartment at 3:30 AM.
2. In your normal, every day conversation, you refer to girls as “HBs” and dates as “Day 2s.” (This warrants repeating).
1. You debate the benefits of using routines vs. no routines on online message boards (or anywhere, for that matter) and actually get pissed off during the debate.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Don't try so hard
This is a great video from Tim of RSD on voice tonality, with my comments following the video.
I thought this was a really good video.
Tonality directly correlates to self confidence (and consequently your sense of value). IMO, the most important bit of info from the video is what you communicate by trying to get rapport.
As Tim described in the video, if you are trying to gain rapport with anyone before really getting to know them, then you are sub-communicating that you have lower value than them. My favorite quote from Tim in this video is “Don’t try so hard.” I think this is great advice for guys who are having trouble opening girls – they are usually trying way too hard and trying to get rapport too early in the interaction, which communicates lower value.
Personally, I think the Neutral Rapport route is the way to go. However, as Tim mentions in the video, a lot of it depends on how the set/target is acting. His advice to “fluctuate between NR and BR” depending on how the girl is behaving is great advice. I think that really is the key to successful interactions – calibrating the basic elements of communication (tonality, body language, facial expressions, etc) based on how the interaction is going.
One thing that I have done is to calibrate the basic elements of communication based on things I observe before I even approach the set. IOW, if I see a set that appears really open to conversation, with everyone giving off a good energy level, I will open with neutral rapport tonality (or maybe even with a slight hint of trying to get rapport), a smile, and open body language. For example, if I see a girl giving me obvious approach invitations and indicators of interest, I would approach her in a completely different way than a girl who has closed body language and a neutral/negative energy level.
You have to calibrate based on the situation, but I think it ultimately boils down to the concept of rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior, even behavior people are exhibiting before you open them. IOW, reward AIs and IOIs with more rapport, and punish people who are closed off with less rapport or by breaking rapport off the opener.
Overall, I think the best place to start with most guys is NR, then calibrate towards BR as you gain a better sense of how girls respond to the way you run NR.
I thought this was a really good video.
Tonality directly correlates to self confidence (and consequently your sense of value). IMO, the most important bit of info from the video is what you communicate by trying to get rapport.
As Tim described in the video, if you are trying to gain rapport with anyone before really getting to know them, then you are sub-communicating that you have lower value than them. My favorite quote from Tim in this video is “Don’t try so hard.” I think this is great advice for guys who are having trouble opening girls – they are usually trying way too hard and trying to get rapport too early in the interaction, which communicates lower value.
Personally, I think the Neutral Rapport route is the way to go. However, as Tim mentions in the video, a lot of it depends on how the set/target is acting. His advice to “fluctuate between NR and BR” depending on how the girl is behaving is great advice. I think that really is the key to successful interactions – calibrating the basic elements of communication (tonality, body language, facial expressions, etc) based on how the interaction is going.
One thing that I have done is to calibrate the basic elements of communication based on things I observe before I even approach the set. IOW, if I see a set that appears really open to conversation, with everyone giving off a good energy level, I will open with neutral rapport tonality (or maybe even with a slight hint of trying to get rapport), a smile, and open body language. For example, if I see a girl giving me obvious approach invitations and indicators of interest, I would approach her in a completely different way than a girl who has closed body language and a neutral/negative energy level.
You have to calibrate based on the situation, but I think it ultimately boils down to the concept of rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior, even behavior people are exhibiting before you open them. IOW, reward AIs and IOIs with more rapport, and punish people who are closed off with less rapport or by breaking rapport off the opener.
Overall, I think the best place to start with most guys is NR, then calibrate towards BR as you gain a better sense of how girls respond to the way you run NR.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
What’s important?
After being involved in the “seduction community” for over 2 years now, I can attest that it has a lot of positive aspects from a self development perspective; however, there are a lot of drawbacks as well, namely the priorities a lot of (but not all) “gurus” advocate.
After being a participant on a number of “seduction forums,” it appears that the overwhelming majority of guys are looking to bang as many women as possible, accumulate as many material possessions as possible, and basically do everything within their powers to demonstrate they have the bigger dicks (metaphorically speaking) than the next guy.
I don’t want to get into a psychological analysis of how messed up this line of thinking is, but I do want to outline the root cause of this mindset: EGO. That probably isn’t a big secret to anyone reading this blog.
On a side note, it’s funny that the seduction community is the very source that brought me to Eckhart Tolle’s book A New Earth, and ultimately a better understanding of how ego affects human beings, given the exorbitantly high level of ego that permeates the community. However, that is the nature of the seduction community: you have to take the good (e.g., the community is a phenomenal resource for self development material) with the bad (e.g, the ego-centric nature of much of the community).
The key question that guys in the seduction community should be asking themselves is “What’s important?” It’s a simple question, but not one that many guys in the community appear to have an answer to, based on what they write on online forums, which may not necessarily communicate their true feelings (there are plenty of commercial interests that promote exaggerated claims, but that is beyond the scope of this blog post). It’s also a highly personal question.
For what it’s worth, the important things in life, at least to me, are pretty simple:
·Good friends and family, people who support you unconditionally.
·Excitement in life, doing things that you truly enjoy, without regard for comparison to others or “keeping score.” In fact, if you keep score with others, you’re probably not going to enjoy it as much.
·Being in good health, not necessarily being a fitness model, but having good general health. Enjoy life while you can, and again don’t get dragged into comparison with others.
For me, finding a girl I truly love and trust, having great friends and family, living a life I am truly happy with (albeit not the most lucrative lifestyle), and having my health are things I can be proud of. They are important to me, and it is irrelevant how other people feel for the most part. How many girls I banged, how much money I made, how much “credibility” I have in online seduction forums, and how big my biceps got as I progressed in achieving those goals really don’t matter. In fact, the comparisons other people make to me and to others really isn’t the least bit important, either.
For anyone who happens to stumble on this blog, and happens to be in the seduction community, please don’t get wrapped up in the inflated sense of ego that drives the lifestyles of many in that community.
Then again, maybe that criticism is just driven by my ego ;-]
After being a participant on a number of “seduction forums,” it appears that the overwhelming majority of guys are looking to bang as many women as possible, accumulate as many material possessions as possible, and basically do everything within their powers to demonstrate they have the bigger dicks (metaphorically speaking) than the next guy.
I don’t want to get into a psychological analysis of how messed up this line of thinking is, but I do want to outline the root cause of this mindset: EGO. That probably isn’t a big secret to anyone reading this blog.
On a side note, it’s funny that the seduction community is the very source that brought me to Eckhart Tolle’s book A New Earth, and ultimately a better understanding of how ego affects human beings, given the exorbitantly high level of ego that permeates the community. However, that is the nature of the seduction community: you have to take the good (e.g., the community is a phenomenal resource for self development material) with the bad (e.g, the ego-centric nature of much of the community).
The key question that guys in the seduction community should be asking themselves is “What’s important?” It’s a simple question, but not one that many guys in the community appear to have an answer to, based on what they write on online forums, which may not necessarily communicate their true feelings (there are plenty of commercial interests that promote exaggerated claims, but that is beyond the scope of this blog post). It’s also a highly personal question.
For what it’s worth, the important things in life, at least to me, are pretty simple:
·Good friends and family, people who support you unconditionally.
·Excitement in life, doing things that you truly enjoy, without regard for comparison to others or “keeping score.” In fact, if you keep score with others, you’re probably not going to enjoy it as much.
·Being in good health, not necessarily being a fitness model, but having good general health. Enjoy life while you can, and again don’t get dragged into comparison with others.
For me, finding a girl I truly love and trust, having great friends and family, living a life I am truly happy with (albeit not the most lucrative lifestyle), and having my health are things I can be proud of. They are important to me, and it is irrelevant how other people feel for the most part. How many girls I banged, how much money I made, how much “credibility” I have in online seduction forums, and how big my biceps got as I progressed in achieving those goals really don’t matter. In fact, the comparisons other people make to me and to others really isn’t the least bit important, either.
For anyone who happens to stumble on this blog, and happens to be in the seduction community, please don’t get wrapped up in the inflated sense of ego that drives the lifestyles of many in that community.
Then again, maybe that criticism is just driven by my ego ;-]
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The most comprehensive lifestyle program EVER
I’ve created a new program through my self development company, Smooth Attraction. I’m posting this information on my blog first, so readers of my blog can have the first chance to sign up for this program.
This is the most comprehensive program ever offered in the seduction community, and more importantly, it covers all aspects of a successful lifestyle.
This is a year-long program, through which students have access to me anytime. As part of the program, I’m offering comprehensive seminars focusing on social dynamics, personal finance and investments, as well as fitness. I have extensive knowledge in all of these areas. In addition to being a dating/lifestyle coach, I’m also a registered investment representative and certified personal trainer.
The cost of the twelve-month program is $18,000, which is an unparalleled bargain, given the breadth and depth of services offered.
Dating/lifestyle component:
This includes 2 dating/lifestyle bootcamps (initial bootcamp and advanced bootcamp) and 6 weekends of exclusive 1-on-1 training, for a total of 8 weekends of training, in addition to unlimited phone consultations.
Personal finance and investments component:
This includes 2 comprehensive weekend seminars covering investment and trading strategies, ranging from long-term investing to day trading strategies. Also, students have access to unlimited email coaching.
Fitness component:
This includes a fitness seminar, in addition to 20 hours of personal training sessions, which you can use whenever you want to.
I have the capacity to bring 5 students into this program, and I already have 1 space filled. If anyone is interested in securing the remaining 4 slots, email customer service at Smooth Attraction at info@smoothattraction.com.
I will post this information on the main website at www.smoothattraction.com soon, but I am taking on new students on a first come, first served basis.
This is the most comprehensive program ever offered in the seduction community, and more importantly, it covers all aspects of a successful lifestyle.
This is a year-long program, through which students have access to me anytime. As part of the program, I’m offering comprehensive seminars focusing on social dynamics, personal finance and investments, as well as fitness. I have extensive knowledge in all of these areas. In addition to being a dating/lifestyle coach, I’m also a registered investment representative and certified personal trainer.
The cost of the twelve-month program is $18,000, which is an unparalleled bargain, given the breadth and depth of services offered.
Dating/lifestyle component:
This includes 2 dating/lifestyle bootcamps (initial bootcamp and advanced bootcamp) and 6 weekends of exclusive 1-on-1 training, for a total of 8 weekends of training, in addition to unlimited phone consultations.
Personal finance and investments component:
This includes 2 comprehensive weekend seminars covering investment and trading strategies, ranging from long-term investing to day trading strategies. Also, students have access to unlimited email coaching.
Fitness component:
This includes a fitness seminar, in addition to 20 hours of personal training sessions, which you can use whenever you want to.
I have the capacity to bring 5 students into this program, and I already have 1 space filled. If anyone is interested in securing the remaining 4 slots, email customer service at Smooth Attraction at info@smoothattraction.com.
I will post this information on the main website at www.smoothattraction.com soon, but I am taking on new students on a first come, first served basis.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
THAT guy gets girls?!?!?
I recently saw a post where a PUA highlighted a bald, fat guy who has a harem of hot women. This was posted on a lair board, and ignited a flurry of comments on how this guy probably demonstrates a fair number of alpha qualities, mainly physical characteristics. Some guys even quoted the popular PUA conception of “lifestyle” as the reason why this guy gets the girls.
When I see a post like this, where a guy, who is “unattractive” by most conventional measures of physical beauty, attracts hot women, it actually makes perfect sense to me. In my opinion, the main reason why a guy like this gets a plethora of hot women isn’t primarily due to the degree to which he is “alpha,” or attributable to a “rockstar lifestyle.” I believe the reason why a guy like this gets the women he wants is because it is the reality he chooses to accept.
One of my favorite inner game concepts is the Reticular Activating System (RAS). This quote from Sinn provides a great description of the RAS:
Your RAS is constantly filtering the information that you're receiving (from women, friends, unrelated events) and looking for reference information to support your existing beliefs about yourself, your self-image, and what you believe your goals and needs to be.
Based on this information about the RAS, it’s pretty clear to me that the reason why a bald, fat guy can get a model as a girlfriend lies less in his “alpha qualities” and “lifestyle” and more in the way his RAS filters information. In other words, based on this man’s self-image and beliefs, he interprets (creates) a reality in which he has abundance with women.
Regardless of how you look, if you have an extremely positive self-image and truly believe that girls want you, then you will interpret events in your life to confirm this. This positive outlook and energy attracts success, and this creates a reality where you get hot women. On the other hand, regardless of how you look, if you have a negative self-image, and don't believe that girls want you, then you will interpret events in your life to confirm this. This negative outlook and negative energy attracts failure, and this creates a reality where you don't get girls.
Ultimately, the choice is yours. You can buy into a conceptualized reality where the hottest women are unattainable for you, or you can choose to accept a reality in which the hottest women are very much attracted to you. You have the power to choose which reality exists for you.
When I see a post like this, where a guy, who is “unattractive” by most conventional measures of physical beauty, attracts hot women, it actually makes perfect sense to me. In my opinion, the main reason why a guy like this gets a plethora of hot women isn’t primarily due to the degree to which he is “alpha,” or attributable to a “rockstar lifestyle.” I believe the reason why a guy like this gets the women he wants is because it is the reality he chooses to accept.
One of my favorite inner game concepts is the Reticular Activating System (RAS). This quote from Sinn provides a great description of the RAS:
Your RAS is constantly filtering the information that you're receiving (from women, friends, unrelated events) and looking for reference information to support your existing beliefs about yourself, your self-image, and what you believe your goals and needs to be.
Based on this information about the RAS, it’s pretty clear to me that the reason why a bald, fat guy can get a model as a girlfriend lies less in his “alpha qualities” and “lifestyle” and more in the way his RAS filters information. In other words, based on this man’s self-image and beliefs, he interprets (creates) a reality in which he has abundance with women.
Regardless of how you look, if you have an extremely positive self-image and truly believe that girls want you, then you will interpret events in your life to confirm this. This positive outlook and energy attracts success, and this creates a reality where you get hot women. On the other hand, regardless of how you look, if you have a negative self-image, and don't believe that girls want you, then you will interpret events in your life to confirm this. This negative outlook and negative energy attracts failure, and this creates a reality where you don't get girls.
Ultimately, the choice is yours. You can buy into a conceptualized reality where the hottest women are unattainable for you, or you can choose to accept a reality in which the hottest women are very much attracted to you. You have the power to choose which reality exists for you.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Assume the “sale”
I’ve read a few FRs from guys on various forums, where they cite sexual anxiety as the factor that prevented them from getting laid. There are a variety of reasons why sexual anxiety can rear its ugly head, and there are countless ways to re-frame negative beliefs about sex. However, from a practical perspective, one of the best tips I have received on how to get past this form of anxiety actually came from sales training.
A good bit of advice when you are making a sales call is to assume the sale. Assume success right from the very beginning, and act accordingly. With pick up, assume success and assume the close. When a girl comes to your place for a day 2, for example, assume that you are going to close her, and act accordingly. Do not assume anything other than absolute success.
When you assume success, and act as if you are going to achieve success, you attract success. If you worry about what can go wrong, and hesitate out of fear, you are going to attract failure.
A good bit of advice when you are making a sales call is to assume the sale. Assume success right from the very beginning, and act accordingly. With pick up, assume success and assume the close. When a girl comes to your place for a day 2, for example, assume that you are going to close her, and act accordingly. Do not assume anything other than absolute success.
When you assume success, and act as if you are going to achieve success, you attract success. If you worry about what can go wrong, and hesitate out of fear, you are going to attract failure.
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